/Wednesday, April 2, 2008
with love; 2:30 AM
The end had come all too soon. Actually, on a second thought, it's not the end, it's neither the beginning. I comfort myself. It hasn't yet started. Maybe i followed my heart too much. Tears keep rolling down without any warning. Again, i keep reminding myself it's been more than a month since you've been gone. Back then, it was totally different. I held everything down which i partly accept things that happened. I crave for reassurance that everything wil be alright(even it is not). It was a constant battle to fight with my own feelings. I got lost once in a while, but soon i found myself back on track. I've been powerless since the day he left & i'm trying my very best to reinvent myself. Noone said is was easy, it wasn't at all.For once a moment, i puzzle out whether or not a person i've never thought of, might slip unannouced into my life. I'm trying to picture myself in a relationship(which i NEVER thought of), into a perfect figure. My thoughts of incapibility of love made me sink into the floor and hide. I rather remain elusive than trying to figure out the complexity of the feelings. It's just too much for me & i'll never understand how this 'love thing' really works. Obviously, I am aware that my parents get married cos they love each other. Produce three incredible children and swear upon their life to stay by each other always and forever.I can't afford to waste my precious time trying to figure out things that i've yet wanting to understand. I mean, things just bound to happen and time will make you understand. Life is a game, you'll lose out if you give up. For the seventeen years of my life, i learn five things that are crucial. (1)Being hurt is inevitable. (2)Failure is not an option. (3)Practice good karma. (4)Accept truth though it's hard. (5)Finally; loved, lost and just let go. Believe me, i lived on that line for months..
