/Monday, February 9, 2009
with love; 5:47 PM
It's been rocky since day one. I've run out of reasons why we're still together.. It's just been an unhealthy r/s. Those nights by your side.. Staring at each others' eyes. Nobody's talking. I prefer you shutting your mouth and looking deeply into my eyes. I felt powerless for a moment, puzzling out whether or not i made the right decision. You know what's even worse? We don't even know what we're fighting about. You're not backin' down. I'm not backin' down either. Neither of us will. Your screaming and my shouting and our accuses; it's just too much, too hurting. Soo much that i felt you no longer needed me. It upsets me even more that you're just waiting for some epiphany for the both of us to work out. Your heart and pride were all that matters, but those were all the things you won't recover in the future. We're fighting for nothing, hurting each other, falling way apart and we're losing. We gained nothing at the end. Do we have to love and hurt at the same time? You make me feel so incapable, sometimes so weak. I need reassurance, some guidance since i'm totally lost. I won't give up until you ask me to. I won't stop loving you until you ask me to. Cos deep deep deep down inside, i want you to be the one. The one that i will fall in love, or perhaps i know i already did. And since things are cold between us, please tell me where do i stand right now. I need to know badly, cos i don't want to end up falling into a large hole.
