/Monday, February 25, 2008
with love; 11:47 PM
.jpg)
i was the happiest girl, i was..I always knew it was just a matter of time before he left. I was lucky enough to see it coming. I just hold on to my faith and i told myself to be strong. My positive feelings have turned into a facade. I'm still finding the words to say, words to live by. My vision blurred but i refused to cry, fearing that once i start, i would not stop. In the past twenty four hours, i experiences every emotions. Hurt. Anger. Sorrow. Despair.Confusion and loss.
It was our mistake to fall for each other. Yes, you're right. Maybe, we're not meant for each other. I let time heal my wounds. The wounds you created two years ago has not yet dissapear. I'd still remember every bit of it. You made me tough. Thank you for showering me all the love. I couldn't asked for anything more. SOmetimes in life, you have to make sacrifices. Letting me go was one of the hardest thing you have to do. But letting you go for the thousandth time was even worse.I'll just accept everything that happens to me. I keep reminding myself, God has bigger and greater plans for me than what i have for myself.
Dissapointed.
/Saturday, February 23, 2008
with love; 8:25 PM
OMG. Words can't describe how much i've missed my Michelle who used to be my bestfriend when we were in Primary 5. Back then, we were so young. Immatured, naughty and kiddy. But hey, she's grown to become an extremely gorgeous lady. We were fcuking closed, more than a sister. One thing which is common about us is that we are a chatterbox, i guess that's the reason why we could get along with each other. We could create one stupid joke and might laugh for half an hour. The FUNNIEST part about our friendship is that, we got into fights easily. Small, stupid and Lame fights. *LAUGHING* It all started when she called me 'nasi goreng', and there goes our friendship to the drain. But hey, we recovered well. But the next day, the same thing happen again. -_-
I still love you tho (:
We lost contact when we stepped into secondary school. Seperated with different life. The WEIRDEST part about our friendship is that, we live oppositely but we DID NOT CONTACT FOR FIVE FREAKING YEARS. That's LONG OK? And i REALLY REALLY MISS YOU! ):
I still remember during my 10th birthday she bought for me a goldfish. Isin't it cute? I mean really for a 10 year old kid bought for her friend that. One of my BEST memory.Michelle, who never fails to make me smile in the past. Let's not waste our frienship away. I still need a friend like you.
We gotta catch up soon, really. I hope you're still the Michelle i know five years ago (:
/Wednesday, February 20, 2008
with love; 2:40 PM
.jpg)
If everyone could just forgive and forget, the world would be a much better place. I wish we could take back the things we said, cos what we said is not always what we meant. We lost out some minds in the moment, and the words we used them like a weapon. Each time when the thoughts of him appeared in my mind, i felt a little piece of my heart chip away. One thing i'm pleading from you, please don't revert to your old-self-destuctive pattern. I'm done with it, i'm done being a fool. I'm much better than that.Until now, i had always knew it was just a matter of time before he would leave. Again. I'm constantly reminding myself EVERY SINGLE day that he's a changed person. The thoughts of it make me battled the tears which i refused to cry. I used to believe in soulmates and loves. I still wanted to believe and actually believing were two different things.
I'm waiting for an epiphany. A light to be shed on my life and show me why i had chosen him..
PS: My love, 26 March 2006 ♥
/Monday, February 18, 2008
with love; 8:49 PM
It burn my heart when i saw the doctors and nurses couldn't save my grandpa. I was small back then & i didn't exactly knew what had happened. All i did was to put the blame on them. The moment he closed his eyes and let out his final breath, i cringed in silence. I knew he's gone. From that very second, i swear that i'll become a nurse. That undying passion started growing without myself realising. I strongly believe that i possess that ability to wanting to save lives and help the people who are in need. To be able to see people happy, really makes me happy :)I don't ask for much, but this is my only hopes and dream. And i know, i'll make it big one day. You'll be proud of me..
/Sunday, February 17, 2008
with love; 10:02 PM
Before you judge me, take a look at yourself. Can you find something better to do? Point that fingers and ask yourself. You aint that pretty anyway and your boyfriend isnt' that great too. Stop analysing his past, stop figuring how stupid i can be. I won't compromise what's in my heart and I live my life my way. Well, you can say anything about me as you please. But i am what i am and that's something you can never be.Whatever happens - just happens.
/Saturday, February 16, 2008
with love; 3:11 PM
Actually, i miss alot of people. Those are the many people who had walk in and walk out of my life. Some stays, while the others just runs out. They say the only true will leave footprints in you heart. I don't blame anyone for any particular reason. I belive it's an unintentional situation. Perhaps, there's few people who has their own reasoning. I understand. As we grow old, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let us down probably will. You'll fight with your own bestfriend, and might feels that everyone is dissing on you. I do cry because time is passing too fast and i'll eventually lose someone close to me.It's funny when i think back about 6 or 7 years ago, totally immatured. With those thick glasses and tied-back hair, I thought everything was perfect, but it turn out the other way round. Well, now i'm a young girl who is a grown lady :)
/Thursday, February 14, 2008
with love; 1:30 AM
I don't like this feeling. You're making me feel uneasy. Im insecured, you know that. Time and again. God, please show me the bad side of you. I don't want to be blinded again. Not the second time please, never..
/Sunday, February 10, 2008
with love; 12:18 AM
I want to fly away to the moon where i could only meet peace. I want to run and hide away from this world. Everything is moving too fast and mortals are always tempting to take control. I wish everything was perfect, but it's the other way. I need some quiet moment where i could hear my own heart beating and feel my blood pumping.
/Wednesday, February 6, 2008
with love; 11:19 PM
It hurts soo much when you know that at the end of the day, noone will be there to support you. This means including your family members. I've done soo much for them, and i get nothing at the end. I've played a part to become a good daughter & a good sister. For the past seventeen years of my life, i have been very supportive with my brothers' being. I guess i've been too kind to them. But the least thing you should have done was not to talk behind my back. Please, for Heaven's sake, don't ever judge the book by it's cover. You don't even know a single thing about me, my life. I've seen your greatest downfall, i've heard your pain and i know your deepest darkest secret. Well, atleast 70% of it. I was there for you, i was there to stand up for you when the rest look down on you. I've lied for you, millions of time. I've helped you when you needed me. I swear, i was your best person you would ever known.All i ever needed from you guys was just to understand me. You're my brother, but you're not showing me any good examples. Cos you're worst. And you want to meddle with my life? OMG. Look at the mirror, comb your hair and reflect yourself. Yes brother, i understand you're being a good brother. THANK YOU. But hey, you know it yourself. Oh, the other brother is judging with my life. Couldn't it get any better? You are known as a very-kind-nice-helpful person. WOW. The clever ass in the family. i bet all the parents in the world would want to own a great son like you. So what? NEVER EVER JUDGE, don't even try.You guys really don't know anything. All of you people keep talking and talking. Noone really knows the truth.For now, i wish to stray myself from the people around me. It hurts alot.
/Friday, February 1, 2008
with love; 4:26 PM
Cause with you in my life, everything is perfect :)
I LOVE YOU, HAN WEI JUN LEONARD♥
.jpg)
i was the happiest girl, i was..
OMG. Words can't describe how much i've missed my Michelle who used to be my bestfriend when we were in Primary 5. Back then, we were so young. Immatured, naughty and kiddy. But hey, she's grown to become an extremely gorgeous lady. We were fcuking closed, more than a sister. One thing which is common about us is that we are a chatterbox, i guess that's the reason why we could get along with each other. We could create one stupid joke and might laugh for half an hour. The FUNNIEST part about our friendship is that, we got into fights easily. Small, stupid and Lame fights. *LAUGHING* It all started when she called me 'nasi goreng', and there goes our friendship to the drain. But hey, we recovered well. But the next day, the same thing happen again. -_-.jpg)
If everyone could just forgive and forget, the world would be a much better place. I wish we could take back the things we said, cos what we said is not always what we meant. We lost out some minds in the moment, and the words we used them like a weapon. Each time when the thoughts of him appeared in my mind, i felt a little piece of my heart chip away. One thing i'm pleading from you, please don't revert to your old-self-destuctive pattern. I'm done with it, i'm done being a fool. I'm much better than that.
